Hello 2025, with Trepidation

While even-numbered years tend to be my favorite, 2024 ends on an overwhelmingly sad note for me. 

In addition to losing my eldest son, 2024 is a sobering year in that the mask falls cleanly off; the failures in my life come glaring back at me akin to the phantom Bloody Mary tilting her head and smirking at me through a foggy mirror. 

I can no longer hide at 46, an age where most have come into their own in terms of balance. Instead, I’m a mess and I’m not close to having it all together. 

Now, as we creep into 2025 and another Trump Presidency, I’m simply paralyzed with fear.   Too scared to change course. Too scared to act.  These days I wake up with the heaviness of failure on my chest and it feels as heavy as a 500-pound anvil.

In short: Instead of hope, I’m approaching 2025 with a sincere feeling of trepidation. 

The Acute Lack of Discipline 

Peeling back the layers, I’ve always had a fire inside of me.  

Both talented and smart, I truly feel as if God has blessed me with so many gifts.

However, my Achilles heel is an acute lack of discipline and again, that comes from fear. 

I’ve always prided myself on always striving to be successful at all costs, but, as I emotionally unpack, I’ve come to realize that what I truly want scares me: Success. Prosperity.  Living my best life, which I can truly say at the moment and with all transparency, I am not. 

Whenever I find that magic, what I’m good at, I’m stopped. I can never see things through.  It’s a maddening start and stop cycle I can trace back to my childhood. 

For instance, I started a handmade bath and beauty shop on Etsy: BodyTresse Beauty, which was doing fairly well. 

Beyond that, creating soaps and body butters was a form of self-care as the creative process was mentally soothing for me. 

So, what happened?  As soon as I purchased my first home, I stopped creating products under the guise of no longer having enough time to create products because of a new, lengthy work commute. 

I have an amazing talent in writing and design, so I began bringing extra income in through resume writing. I never pursued the certification to grow the skill set into a scalable business. 

I started a YouTube channel and really started to build a community of “Beanie Pies.”  Yep.  Gave up on that too. 

See a pattern?  Funny thing is, my mom always called me out on it too: “You start well, and you end badly.”  Oui Manman. Oui. 

It’s that lack of focus and failure to see anything through that leads me to this space.

So now on New Year’s Eve, I’m sitting here slowly sipping this Jose Cuervo that I was supposed to have used for my Christmas Jello Shots, simply scared to death that 2025 will end on 2024’s low note.

I cannot have that.  I’m too much of a fighter to be defeated before the start of a New Year. 

Change – The New, New Year’s Resolution

This New Year isn’t about a resolution, but about change.

It’s about harnessing power and funneling it through focus and discipline.  It’s about giving a middle finger to fear and waking up every day- not manifesting, but making things happen through consistency. 

A friend of mine said that he doesn’t believe that I can change. 

Well, he may not believe I can change, but I know that I HAVE to. At the crux of this change is by developing discipline and developing habits of consistency. 

 

How to Develop Discipline 

It won’t be easy – I’m fighting many years of this acute lack of discipline. So, I’ve done a bit of research to help through the process: 

Set clear, achievable goals:
Conquering the smaller goals will help you tackle the larger ones.  For instance, my small goal is to wake up at 7:00 am every morning in order to devote an hour and a half to working on growing my blog.  I’ll set the goal for one week, and from there add on a week until I progress to permanent. 

Create a routine and stick to it:
Establishing a routine is crucial to building discipline.  A routine establishes daily habits that will help achieve larger goals. 

Manage distractions:
Minimize distractions like phone notifications or unnecessary interruptions to maintain focus.  As much as I love music, I can’t stay focused on my writing when Doechhi is threatening to turn a ninjas guts into soup beans. 

Find ways to reward yourself: 
Positive reinforcement encourages you to remain on track. 

Visualize Success:
This isn’t manifesting.  This seeing a picture of your better self should you remain consistent. 

 

Wishes to My Readers for 2025 

Hoping that you are blessed. 

Embrace transparency and don’t be afraid of being honest about your struggles. 

Wishing you good health. 

Prosperity…GET MONEY! 

Hoping that you continue to rock with this Blissfully Single Lady. 

 

 

 

 

Until next time… 

Blissfully Single and Yours,