Life in Flight – The Struggle

Life in flight. It’s a struggle. From the outside looking in, it seems glamorous – catching flights, fancy hotels, cool cities. Nope. For the most part, balancing a career centered on travel and raising children on my own has been one of the most difficult things to manage in my life. Fact is, I’ve been traveling for business for the past twelve years and I’ve hated every moment of it. 

Another Flight to Catch

There’s another flight to catch, I’ll need to leave home for a few nights: I stayed anxious and stressed out during the beginning of my career as a Corporate Event Planner.  Even when I was living with the father of my children, it wasn’t that much easier. Yes, we lived together, share two boys, but he was resentful of the fact that as a mother, I’d take on this kind of a job, so emotionally, he made me feel the sting of his bitterness. Not only did I have to deal with all the day-to- day details of work travel, I also had to deal with the nasty fights at home with my children’s father. Work travel was torture; a logistical and emotional nightmare.

I finessed it though. By nature, Bean’s an actress. You would never know that I was having an insanely hard time. One of my old managers asked me how I make this amount of travel work with a baby at home. I’d lie straight out of every corner of my teeth with no shame, a fake smile masking the war going on at home:

“Oh.  It’s easy! I have a great support system!”

But then there was the reality of the situation, the frantic phone calls I’d get from their dad while on the road: HELP! He can’t find a shirt (Look in the draw) – or he didn’t know how to make lunch for daycare (Just stick a Lunchable in the boy’s day care bag and call it a day). 

On the road, it was me trying my best to get through a painful, team dinner, worried about a daycare issue my baby boy was dealing with, and being unable to do anything about it being hundreds of miles away. It was unbearable for me to not be at home & not be in control. However, my traveling for work is how the bills are paid.  

The Turning Point & Lesson

I’ve come to learn that life has a funny way of teaching lessons and it’s called time. 

In time, things fall into place.  Time moves on and you develop a solid travel routine. Children get older and quite frankly, don’t need you as much.  The same partner that tormented you about travel, is no longer in the picture and instead of war, I come home from a trip to the peace of a part-time nanny and my two little boys. The family life stabilizes and suddenly, travel transforms from a burden to a delight.

Now, travel for work means I’m up in the air – disconnected from the world, affording me the chance to recharge and clear my thoughts. Life in the air forces me to finally slow down and gather myself.

I can take a few days away from the day-to-day’s of being a mom, and guess what, this doesn’t make me any less of a mother to my children. 

Instead of resenting travel, I now open my heart to new experiences that traveling for work brings.

For instance, I saw my first sunset; I mean – the sun literally melted into the mountains, while I was in Birmingham.  The Cubs won their first World Series in 108 years and I was in Chicago, experiencing the excitement of the city with a colleague turned friend  (JOE! THIS ONE’S FOR US!). Work travel, once a curse, now turned blessing.

The Blissfully Single Lesson

My biggest lesson: the struggle isn’t always going to be one. I know, it sounds so cliché, but it rings true; with time, things do get better. Time moves on, circumstances change, doors open – the pieces eventually fall into place and through the struggle comes wisdom and growth. This applies, not only to the single mom like me, trying to balance home life and a career; but marriage, raising children, dating, getting closer to God – the fact is, the blessing is in the process.

Now, while I’m living life in the air– time stands still and for a moment; I haven’t a care in the world.  I’m floating on both hope and clouds on that plane.

I am grateful for the initial struggle; the struggle gave way to acceptance and in turn, a change in perspective.

Blissfully Single and Yours Friends,