Coping with the First Day of School: A Single Mom’s Fears
This Blissfully Single Mom got no sleep.
I can’t understand. My boys were in bed by nine; myself, I’m in bed by 9:30. Surely I thought, I’m going to have a good night’s sleep to usher in the first day of school and shift in my schedule.
The Shift: I’m unable to race out the door in the mornings. Now, there are two boys to get ready before jetting off to the office. When I come home, I’ll have my second job to do – checking homework, reading and signing the myriad of forms they send our kids home with.
I was gearing up for that good sleep because I thought I was ready for the first day of school.
Turns, out UNLIKE Tiffany Haddish:
…Your girl Beans was NOT ready.
First Day of School Jitters
I woke up at 11:00 pm, then at 1:00 am. When I woke up at 4:00 am, I looked at my phone, answered his text message and he immediately texted back:
“Bean, why are you up?”
Why was I up? It took me all but a minute to figure out – my children’s first day of school is the next day, I’m wired, scared and can’t sleep.
Fears, Manifested
My fears are manifested with every first day of school I’m blessed for my children to experience.
A major one includes the passage of time. My oldest son is going to the eighth grade, but my chest is already sinking at the thought of him going to high school another first day of school, one year later.
As a single mom, I can’t help but to think about when these first days collectively advance to me dropping him off for his first day, at a dorm, in college.
The fact is, the first day of school reminds me that my children wont be with me forever; they culminate with me returning home, with no one to look after. That’s a scary thought, especially for a single mom.
Another set of jitters include separation anxiety. At home, my children are protected. It’s our world – the three of us. School starts and they’ll have to deal with issues I can’t protect them from; they’re exposed.
Last of the major fear bunch includes the question that always haunts me: am I giving my children enough? Have I given them enough wisdom to make the best choices? Did I spend enough on school supplies? Are they tough enough to attend a school where they are the minority? Sneakers, clothing, do they fit in? Will they be pointed out for having the mixed Jordans instead of the pure 1’s?
There’s so much to worry about. So much anxiety – I found myself not getting an ounce of sleep.
Tips for Coping with the First Day of School
There are ways to cope; ways of managing that back-to-school anxiety for both children and parents.
Start the Children on a Back-to-School Routine: Begin the routine before school starts. I did actually intend on doing this, but got sidetracked. Fact is, getting my boys on a routine would have helped them as much as it would have helped me to prepare both emotionally and logistically for the back-to-school grind.
Shop for School Supplies Early: I’m a last minute girl and this just wont cut it. For a single mom whose always afraid of her children not having enough, early school shopping is essential. Look for deals on sneakers, clothes and school supplies as early as a month before school. Popular retailers to look for with deals include Amazon & Walmart. Don’t forget to take a trip to a nearby Outlet mall for savings on clothing and sneakers.
Manage Separation Anxiety: Separation anxiety affects both parents and children. For youngsters going to a new school, a trip to the new learning spot a few times during the summer can help your young one become acquainted to the new environment.
Parents, reaching out to the new teacher with your munchkins likes / dislikes / strengths and weaknesses can help build a relationship before your child even steps foot in the classroom. This helps alleviate anxiety for us parents. The teacher will have an idea of who your child is and will already be in nurture mode.
Prayer: Now, I’m not suggesting who or what to pray to..what I am saying is that taking your anxieties and fears to a higher power helps to release the anxiety we tend to hold on to.
Made it Through
We made it through the first day – we always do. Going forward though, I’ll be a lot more prepared so that this blissfully single mom can get a good night’s sleep before that ever precious: first day of school.
Blissfully Yours Friends,
